Lindsay Guard

I love Sundays like the one today. Ryan has been asked to speak about once a month in main service at our church, Mission. I, of course, have heard Ryan speak countless times but I never get tired of hearing what God has put on his heart each week. Recently, I have been sitting in all 5 services when he speaks main stage and I just absolutely love it! I love being by his side, I love that people see me by his side as his companion, and I love that the worship draws me closer to God with each service. You’d think it would sadly get a little monotonous. I mean, 5 services of the same songs and same message?!?! There is just something about being in the midst of community where I feel safe, loved, and valued and worshiping together that can fill my spirit. I must admit, we were both wiped when we got home but we’ve had a fun night of packing for our trip to Ohio tomorrow! I can’t wait to see my family and start this Christmas week. I need the rest, I need my family, I must must must have some cuddles from my nephew, and I can’t forget all the home-cooked meals! To be honest, I’m so ready for 2009 to be over but I’m hoping these last few weeks are filled with reflection on what God has done in our lives, where He has brought us, and where He will take us in the coming year!

What are you looking forward to most this Christmas week? What will you reflect on from this past year and what are your hopes for 2010?

Where we'll be spending Christmas

So tonight when we got home from dinner after church there was a police car outside our house. My first conclusion was that they were back at our neighbor’s house who had previously been investigated for fraud when we first moved in. The police were actually there for us and proceeded to tell us that someone had called because our dogs were barking. My heart immediately sunk because we have always prided ourselves on having a dog that doesn’t bark (Bella). I was pretty frustrated that someone would call the cops without coming to us first…or at least leaving a note about the dogs. I also had a hard time believing that our dogs could make that much noise for such a long time that it would result in someone calling the cops. My second conclusion was me pointing my finger at the previously mentioned neighbor and guessing he was the perpetrator who made the call. I pouted for a while and even “Twitter vented”, as Ryan likes to call it.

About 20 minutes later, Ryan walks in from running to get more dog food and tells me that he got pulled over. Great! Just what I needed to hear! Turns out it was the same cop who came to tell us about our dogs. For some reason, he decided to tell Ryan that it WAS the neighbor I had suspected BUT he didn’t call to complain, he actually called and told the police that we’ve lived here for about 6 months and he has never heard our dogs so when he did hear them, he got concerned and came over to our house. No one answered, so out of concern he decided to call the police.

Wow…do I feel completely dumb. Here I am “frustrated” with my neighbor who I so arrogantly accused of one thing when, in fact, the whole situation came about because he was concerned for me and my family.

Lesson learned: Stop jumping to worst case scenario conclusions.

Thank you God for continuing to refine me. Thank you for neighbors who care and watch out for each other. Thank you for big grace.

This has been one crazy year. If you’ve got a pulse, you’ve probably felt the same. I was getting ready for my first day of a new job this morning…battling the typical nervous jitters. My mind spiraled into thoughts of what we’re going through and what others who I love are going through. I started praying very honest prayers and kept repeating to myself, “You are with me. I can be confident, no matter the circumstances. You are with me, You will never leave me.” You see, I’m working on training my brain to remember these truths, because without them, I’ll crumble.

I walked out the front door and was met by a wonderful, cool Autumn breeze. It forced me to look up to the sky in wonderment of what this day was going to hold.  Across a dark morning sky, end to end, stretched an amazingly vibrant, perfect rainbow.  A promise.  It was as if I was the only person on the planet looking up at the sky in that moment and the Creator of the Universe was saying back to me, “Yes, I am with you. You can be confident, no matter the circumstances. Yes, I am with you, I will never leave you.”

I caught my breath that couldn’t help but be taken away…winked back at my Abba, Father…and went on my way with a heart overflowing.

So tonight while brushing my teeth I had a fun little spiritual moment. About 2 weeks ago, Ryan and I went to dinner at Sauce with a couple friends. The sandwich I ordered came on really hard bread that ended up cutting my mouth right under my tongue. I could tell all night that this bread was just tearing up my mouth, not to mention the really hard potato chips that came on the side. So over a few days this cut blistered up and has been painfully nagging me day and night. A couple days ago, I felt this blister become really rough and then it just disappeared and stopped hurting. Ahhh freedom! Mouth pain is just awful. Not only did it keep me from eating normally but it became so bad that my gums were hurting and it felt like my whole face was aching.  (This post is not about my yucky mouth wound so if you’re still reading, bless you.) So, needless to say, it was a great day when the hurting stopped!

Anyways, I realized while brushing my teeth that I no longer needed to gently navigate around the bottom of my mouth.  I let out a, “thank you God for healing my mouth”. Then, I almost immediately felt silly for thanking God for healing my mouth. God didn’t heal my trivial little cut. My body did was it was created to do…heal itself. Or did it? I suddenly found myself contemplating the spirituality of my Panini induced mouth blister (deep, I know). Seriously though, I think as Christians we tend to lean one way or the other. I wondered if I was over-spiritualizing God’s role in my day to day business. I don’t doubt that God works in the little things, but I was curious if God ever gets little thank you’s, like I sent out tonight, for something He didn’t do.  I mean, I guess in a roundabout way, if God didn’t directly heal my cut he did create my body to heal itself so then He does deserve the glory for that.  With that thought, I decided that if I’m going to err, I’d rather err on the side of “over-thanking” God for the little things. After all, “Every good and perfect gift is from above…” (James 1:17).  My mouth going from throbbing to pain-free in the same day was a GOOD thing!

This line of thought then naturally led me to speculate on how much credit I give my Enemy. Again, I don’t doubt that Satan is real and is at work in this world but I also think sometimes we give him too much power.  I know straight up that I don’t fully get the FREEDOM that I have in Christ and I haven’t fully tapped into the Spirit that is ALIVE in me (by the way, that’s the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead…yeah). If I did get that with all my being, then I’m pretty sure I’d live differently. It seems pretty clear that our Enemy has already lost yet we live defeated. Sure, he temporarily screws with things, sometimes in very scary ways but is he powerful because is he powerful or is he powerful because we don’t know the Spirit in us? Yes, our flesh is weak but our God is not. We give in, we fear what’s around the corner, and we settle for a second-rate life.

I want to live this out. I want God’s praises to always be on my lips. I want to face my Enemy already knowing that because Christ lives, I win. Much responsibility comes with trying to grasp this and join in on what Jesus has to offer. If I am ready to sing God’s praises I must be ready to do that from the mountain tops and through the valleys. I also can’t just ignore that there is evil, but I don’t want to assume the Devil is hiding behind every bush ready to get me. Lets be honest, we’re some messed up people and some days we make Satan’s job a little easier out of our own free will.

If you’ve made it this far in this post, you’re either Ryan or very very patient Who knew brushing my teeth could spiral into some soul prodding blogging?! Obviously, these thoughts are not refined. I pretty much came straight downstairs and started typing but I think that’s the best way to get a glimpse into my brain!

I hope this week God finds you in your mundane routine and leaves you with not just fresh breath, but fresh faith

I always thought it was pretty crazy that my parents could remember where they were when they heard the news that President Kennedy was shot. Now I understand…

Eight years ago, on the morning of September 11, 2001 I was a senior in high school sitting in Mr. Snouffer’s economics class. It was just any normal, beautiful fall day in little ol’ Westerville, Ohio. Middle America feels like just about the safest place in the country to grow up. I can’t remember how we got the news, perhaps someone came in the classroom to tell Mr. Snouffer but I remember his face and the confusion among my classmates when he told us that a plane had hit one of the World Trade Center Towers in New York City. The words “Terrorist Attack” suddenly brought fear to even a Midwest suburban town. My next period in school was lunch so a group of friends and I headed to Randy Smithson’s house for lunch. I’m not sure anyone even took a bite of food as we watched in horror as black smoke and hot flames rushed out of this building towering over NYC’s skyline. Suddenly, a second plane came into view on the television and before any of us could even believe what we were about to see, the second WTC Tower was hit. For a second, I think most of us thought they were replaying some footage of the first plane…”was that a second attack?? ” Disbelief. Fear. Confusion. Sorrow. I don’t even remember the rest of the day. People in the hallways trying to recall if they knew anyone in New York, some panic stricken as they remembered having family members who were flying that day. My family hung out around the house that night and I only left to head to church with some friends to pray. I remember figuring out that the date that day was 9-11…that’s when I think it hit me that this was intentional pain, planned out wickedness. I was only a 3 month old Christian…and all I could do was fall on my knees in prayer.

Its still surreal to me that something like this happened in my lifetime…here, on our soil.  I know one day my children will ask me “Mom, do you remember where you were when the September 11th terrorist attacks happened?” I know I will be able to sit them down and journey through that day with them. I pray that in their lifetime, they’ll only have memories of peace.

The t-shirts our econ class made to sell around Westerville to raise funds for 9-11 families

Where were you when the September 11th terrorist attacks happened?

The Today Show did a piece on miscarriage and I thought I’d post it here. Not only is this good for women who have experienced a loss to watch but it is also good for anyone else to get a better glimpse into how you can respond!

Watch the video HERE

That’s how many days were written for you.

I am at peace today. The world is as it should be, otherwise it would be different. I am ok with that right now. We were never meant to meet this side of eternity.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me peace today. Thank you for helping me see that You do not let us suffer in vain, but You will and already have used this for refining and edifying. Our hearts will never be the same. If You’re willing, I am ready.

This song has been on repeat this week. I think this is what God is saying to me today….

I Will Show You Love By Kendall Payne

I will show you love like you’ve never loved before
I will go the distance and back for more if you just say the word
‘Cause you will come alive again
Call the trying times your friend
Pain that you have suffered through
Never get the best of you
You will hope in something real
Won’t depend on how you feel
When you call my name, then I will answer, answer

Cause I am on your side
Though the wind and waves
Beat against your faith
You were on my mind
When the world was made
Trust in me my child,
Trust in me my child

Walk out on the water
You have no control
Scared of every failure
Sacrifice your soul, please let that go

Cause you have climbed an uphill road
You have worn a heavy load
You have cried through endless nights
Nearly giving up the fight
Watch your dreams like fallen stars
Heartache made you who you are
Looking back you see that I’ve always been there

Cause I am on your side
Though the wind and waves
Beat against your faith
You were on my mind
When the world was made
Trust in me my child,
Trust in me my child

Where you gonna hide, where you gonna hide from me?
Where you gonna go, where you gonna go that I can’t see?

Cause I have heard your cry
And it breaks my heart, for I love you so
I will never lie
This is not the end
There is still a hope

Cause I am on your side
Though the wind and waves
Beat against your faith
You were on my mind
When the world was made
Trust in me my child,
Trust in me my child

This whole time I have questioned where God was while I was losing my baby. Now I know…He was there, weeping with me.

Deep breath…

Amen.

Most of you who read this already know that I am the proud Aunt of little Eli Ryan but for those of you who don’t know him, let me introduce this awesome person….

Isn’t he just the cutest?? I’m pretty much obsessed and Ryan has to remind me that he is not mine when I sit and stare at his picture and say “sigh….look at my cute little guy!” I never thought being an aunt would be this special. I mean, I knew it would be great and my sister would have cute kids, but man o’ man this kid just swooped into my life and showed me this whole part of my heart I didn’t know existed! Now, I know what some of you are thinking….yeah but just wait till you have your own kids, its even better. Which I cannot wait to experience and obviously know that my heart will never be the same but I love this Aunt/Nephew kind of love. Maybe its because he is the son of my only sister, who just so happens to be one of my bestest friends too! (I’m lucky huh?) Or I’m confident that part of it is because I saw my sister and brother-in-law struggle through 2 1/2 years of an emotional trying to conceive rollercoaster and this child that we all longed and prayed for is even better than what we could have imagined! Whatever the case, Eli has brought so much joy and laughter into our family, it truly is miraculous.

The hard part is, I hate being so far away from my family but I love how God takes the little amount of time I have with them on each Ohio visit and increases the quality of it exponentially! I am now confident that a few months can go by, but when I walk through the doors Eli will know who I am and run to give me hugs and kisses. Its so great! The power of technology is huge as well. I video chat with my sister and Eli often and he totally gets that he can talk to and entertain me through the computer. What a brilliant little 1 year old Yep, he is brilliant. I mean, for all bragging purposes the kid was walking at 7 1/2 months and knows about 10 words! My poor kids have to follow that…haha!

Anyways, just wanted to indulge everyone else in my enthrallment! Love my cookie!

Here are a couple pics from his 1st birthday, June 13, 2009!